Illusions
by Lacey52
Summary: When the mind won't believe.  When you lose that which you thought could never be lost.  When reality comes back. Implied DxS


_**Illusions  
**_By Lacey52

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

_Note_: It's angst…you don't like it? Don't read it. I warn you now. It's probably rather OOC for the cannon series, but I think that if this were to happen in real life, you'd probably be acting a little strange yourself. One-shot and based on 'Hello' by Evanescence from their Fallen album. I highly recommend it.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

He sat on the swings, smiling congenially at the girl beside him, chatting away and enjoying the glow of the afternoon sun. He could talk to her for hours and never get bored…and even when they'd get bored, it would be a content boredom and they'd find something else to do.

They hadn't talked much, more they just sat and enjoyed swinging. It seemed to have become some sort of ritual. She never wanted to talk while they did this, just sit and swing and enjoy and that was perfectly fine with him.

Just as the bell rang, signaling the end of the first half of a school day for the elementary students Sam turned sad eyes to Danny and took her leave. Silent as always.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

As the clouds gathered above Danny's head, Tucker observed him swinging on the swings again. He'd done so every day for the past week, always for the same amount of time, always in the same place. It was, after all, the place they had both met the stubborn little girl with wide, inquisitive eyes, and a curious sense of how to live life.

The sun hadn't been out for the past three days, but still he came. He smiled to himself, talked to the air, and seemed content, but Tucker was more than worried. As the bell rang and the students were more than likely making their way towards the playground the halfa occupied, Danny frowned slightly, looking as if he lost something.

The clouds parted, delivering their burden on the earth, and shocked Danny out of whatever reverie he was in. Tucker almost couldn't hold in the tears, but boys didn't cry, and Sam certainly wouldn't have wanted them to cry over her.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Hey Danny," Tucker sadly called through the chain link fence as the teen's brow wrinkled in confusion and slight frustration, "It's startin' to rain man, let's head to your house or something…"

"I just don't get it," Danny cut him off and shook his head as he joined Tucker on the other side of the fence, "Every day, right as the bell rings, she just up and leaves."

Wide eyes turned, rimmed red and filled with bright, unshed tears, "Man you gotta' let it go…you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" the halfa questioned sharply, roughly turning his gaze from his best friend. His stride lengthened and Tucker hastened to keep up, just as upset as Danny, but for a very different reason.

Grabbing his shoulder, Tucker swung the other boy around, glaring at him, "You're not the only one who lost her!"

"What are you talking about?" Danny shook his head, clearing away images that had haunted him at all hours, for reasons he couldn't explain.

"Sam, damn it!" Tucker exploded, the pent up anger and hurt, the frustration at seeing his best friend, his only best friend now, loosing himself to his own mind, "I'm talking about Sam, Danny. She isn't coming back, she isn't here, she isn't a ghost, she isn't real. She's dead!"

And shaking at what he had just shouted, Tucker turned away and walked towards his home, Danny staring after him and trying to figure out why Tucker's voice had faded out as soon as he had said Sam's name.

'Maybe I'm just tired…'

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

A movement caught Danny's eye as soon as he had stepped back into his room, throwing the slightly damp clothes he had walked home in into the hamper. Turning, he caught Sam sitting beside his bed, a book laying beside her.

Smiling he made his way to her, "Hey Sam, what are you doing here?"

Saying nothing she patted the ground beside her and smiled back, looking happy and content to just be in the same room with him, "Is that your scrap book thingy?"

A wry grin and a nod was all he received from the girl he was sitting beside. Reaching over her, he took the book from the ground and began to flip through it. He could look at it for hours…and he did.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Jazz sat against Danny's door, listening to him talk and laugh and remember, and sobbed silently. He was talking to Sam. Again.

The first night it had happened, she had thought he had been dreaming and walked in to wake him up, lest it take a darker path. When she had walked in, he had been flipping through the book that Sam's mother had handed over to him, laughing at something and asking Sam if she remembered.

He hadn't even acknowledged her own presence.

He was talking to her…and there was no one there. His mind was supplying the image, he was psychologically filling in the place where Sam should be. It wasn't healthy. It had to stop.

But Jazz didn't have the heart to do stop him.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

In the back of his mind, Danny knew that something was wrong. He knew that Sam shouldn't be there, something wasn't right with the situation. He ignored that feeling.

People stared, he was aware. They whispered and sent him pitying and sympathetic and hurt glances. Something was obviously wrong, he wasn't that oblivious.

And if he just stopped and listened to a very Sam-like voice in the back of his head, he would have let himself understand.

But something in him rebelled violently at the thought, and so he would ignore them all and continue his one-sided conversation with Sam as they headed to his locker. She always seemed to have her books with her now…and for some reason she was in a different class, as she always left him at the door. And she never spoke.

Whispers of 'Talking to himself,' and 'Gone crazy, loosing her really screwed his mind up,' floated all around him, but he took no notice. He forced himself not to.

He was too happy in his own little world, and so smiled and continued on ignoring them all.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

Sometimes, Tucker thought he could almost see the tears in the halfa's eyes. Sometimes, he heard Danny whisper Sam's name like a prayer. Sometimes, the teen thought his best friend was coming back from whatever world he had created for himself.

It always happened when he walked into a classroom…and it always happened when Tucker would have to cut school and retrieve Danny from the playground.

If only for a few seconds, Danny had come back, somehow woken up to the reality he had to face. But always, always, he'd fall back into it.

And so Tucker worried and decided to seek help. Danny desperately needed it.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

"Intervention?"

The word rolled heavily off his tongue as he repeated that which had come from his best friend's mouth. Here stood his family, his friends, people from school, people from the neighborhood. And they were all here because they thought that something was wrong with him.

"We want to help you Danny," Jazz caught his eyes and beseechingly sent him a look, moving forward to catch his hand and numbly lead him towards the couch, "You haven't been yourself…it's been months since…since S-Sam and…"

But she had to cut off as tears came to her eyes and Danny violently shook his head, "Nothing's wrong with Sam! Why is everybody going around acting like she's dead or something?"

"Because she is Danny," his mother lay a gently hand on his shoulder and keep him from rising, "You need to realize it Danny. It isn't healthy to keep pretending she's alive."

"I'm not pretending! What's wrong with all of you? This is sick!"

"Danny," Tucker tried again, "You know I wouldn't joke about something like that man, you know it."

"This is…this isn't real," he shook his head again, stood up, and dodge his father's grasping hands as he darted up the stairs and slammed his door.

A brush of air on the back of his neck caused him to turn, finding Sam right behind him. For the first time in what felt like an eternity she spoke to him, "They're right you know…I'm a ghost now, but _you_ can still see me."

And for another month, this was what he believed, clung to, lived by…she might have been dead, but she hadn't left him. He had the strange feeling that he was floating through life.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

As Jazz sat, shaking and trying to control her hiccupping sobs, she breathlessly pieced together what was happening to Danny. For those around her who didn't quite understand her technical terms, she laid it out as simply as she could.

"He's…he's seeing her because he wants to," she took a shuddering breath, forcing all her knowledge out, "His mind can't accept that Sam is…that she's gone. He's basically hallucinating."

Tucker sunk onto the couch beside her, drawing her into his arms and trying to offer what support he could. The other's in the room followed suit and continued discussing what was going on.

"So he's living a lie because he can't handle what happened?" Tucker asked gently.

"Yes…" Jazz took another shaky breath, fresh tears washing down her face, "He can't face it, so his mind is keeping him safe…he hasn't even cried."

And as Jasmine Fenton broke down into tears, several dry eyes, their tears spent, turned towards the ceiling, towards Danny's room, where the boy could be heard talking happily…to no one.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

And one day, it stopped.

Danny knew, as he woke that morning and tears began to fill his eyes for seemingly no reason, that something was missing from his life. The feeling of floating, drifting in life was gone.

Images, the images that he had been fighting flooded over him, wrenching a heart stopping sob from his lips. He couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't do anything as he sat up and clung to his pillow for dear life, the force of his crying blinding him from tears and scratching his throat raw.

Nothing was right and he was finally seeing it. After months of drifting through the motions of life, the dam had broken and he finally woke up to the reality of life.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

A voice, the sweetest sound he'd never hear again, seemed to whisper in his ear at his darkest moment of despair. It spoke of loving him, and never truly leaving him, even though the girl herself hadn't truly been there for months.

She was still there, in a way, in all the memories and all the ways he thought of her, and the things of her he kept. She was in the world around him, because she had left an impression and she could never truly be gone.

But the words meant nothing as he spent his grief. As his mother came to him. As his sister joined in his crying. As his father held them all and rocked them, their anguish at the situation finally coming out, finally being spent.

And the words would mean nothing for several days…several weeks…several months.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

And one day, quite suddenly, Danny realized that it didn't hurt quite as much to think of Sam as he stared at the place in his parent's lab that he had first kissed her. A tear traced its way down his cheek as he realized that the words that had snuck into the back of his mind truly did have a meaning.

It still hurt, God it still hurt, but it was alright to hurt. She was never truly gone, so long as he remembered her…and he would always remember her. For as long as he lived, and for centuries after that if he was to become a ghost. She'd always be in his heart, in his world. The illusion of it all finally ended.

And Danny walked away, tears in his eyes, a voice in his mind, and a girl in his heart. It would never be a goodbye…there was only a hello to look forward to.

.o.O.o.o.O.o.

The song that inspired it all:

_Hello  
_Evanescence  
(Fallen)

Playground school bell rings again.  
Rain clouds come to play again.  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?  
Hello, I am your mind giving you, someone to talk to.  
Hello.

If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream.  
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.  
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide.  
Don't cry.

Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping.  
Hello, I'm still here, all that's left of yesterday.


End file.
